think different.

a few months ago i attempted to learn blackbird by the beatles. i took a few looks at the tabs and fiddled around with my guitar but didn’t get the hang of it so i gave up.

my new phone allows me to import my own music and make customized ringtones so i uploaded songs for my favorite people—songs that they like or remind me of them.

i used blackbird for my dad because it’s one of his favorite beatles’ songs. i know this because he’d been encouraging me to play since i picked up the guitar (about six or seven years ago).

of course, i never took his suggestion seriously. in part because i wanted to play songs i liked and in part because it was too advanced—until now.

about three days ago, i started giving the song a real listen and i looked up some background history. and i have to admit, i’ve fallen completely in love with the song.

i don’t know the reasons why my dad likes the song, other than he loves the simple sound of the strumming, but i know i love it for that and more.

it’s taken me three days to learn it and i have to admit, it’s been a long time since it’s taken me that long to learn a song. the last time i can remember it being this difficult for me to learn a song was probably two years ago with i will follow you into the dark.

but i don’t know what made me so determined this time around. well actually, i do. and it’s because i’m going through a rough patch in my life and this song—when i play it, or even before i could play it, when i would sing it, i felt like i was being granted the freedom, i was being pardoned from all the stupid shit i’ve done and all the bad things that have happened these past couple of months.

this song makes me feel good on so many levels. it makes me happy that, on the surface, it’s about a bird (and you know how i absolutely love birds), but beneath that, it’s about a black woman/girl during the civil rights movement, and that paul intended for the song to send a message of hope.

the complexity of the strumming pattern and the movement of the chords makes me feel like i’ve advanced in my playing skills.

the fact that this song is a favorite of my dad’s, one of the main people who inspire me, makes me feel connected and like i made him proud.

i just, i don’t know. this song is amazing and i never thought it could mean so much to me.

i don’t remember if you can recall my post about my little secret but i do like to learn songs when life throws a brick at my face—it helps me get by with big strides. and this song most definitely helped me in ways i could never imagine.

and so as i’m playing and singing this song and 1:33 AM i can’t help but be thankful i am to be musically inclined. i don’t know what i would do without it.

i am a blackbird singing in the dead of night.

“I LAVA YOU!”